Tips for Cannon Riders

[Wyf_Broadskull]

Greetings to all. You may not know me, but there are some that call me the "Flying Warrior," as I have turned into something of a cannon riding fanatic. As such, I offer you now my thoughts on how I make the most of my cannon riding experiences.

First, as with anything in Valorn, try and make sure you are on the right side of things with the gods. While I've only seen Balthazar knock an adventurer out of the air, I do not doubt that angering one of the gods might result in a similar experience. Perhaps, before enjoying one of the cannons, you might consider a trip to Ethucan to make an offering at Ben's Temple, or similarly, an offering to Cory...be on the safe side and visit both temples. I cannot say that is the truth, but I hear offerings at the temple of Ben are usually delicacies of some sort. Perhaps a sweet roll with nuts?

Consult with your local cleric in any case to find out what is appropriate.

Secondly, there is some debate among those that ride the cannons as to go armored or unarmored. I have tried both and have found no difference in terms of result. However, you may find yourself in a place where light is needed, or you could end up in some place like the Verthedge, so wearing armor is probably advisable. Bring an extra shirt along to wipe the chunks of ...well, yourself of off ....yourself. *coughs and nods*

Perhaps the most important part of a good cannon ride is the beverage. Whether you prefer lemonade or pirate ale, always, *always* carry your beverage with you. You never know when you are going to actually hit one of those impudent birds, the ones that believe themselves to be special and wind up at the life monument. I would also recommend Tree Moss Tea, to help soothe your vocal chords from all the screaming you will be doing. I never take a cannon ride without my lemonade and I have yet to spill a drop!

There are a few miscelaneous items you may wish to consider bringing along just in case things do not go quite as planned. A deaths reset scroll is always handy, especially for dedicated cannon riders. An extra cloak in case you find yourself falling asleep as you wait to recover after a poor landing. It is handy also to have a high level enchanter you can call on to get you out of sticky situations. Books, hobby materials, that correspondence you have been putting off for far too long, all are good things to have with you "just in case."

Now, you may be asking, "But, Wyf...how am I to carry all this? My pack is full already of dull crystals and such?" Well, the gods have provided a solution to this problem. Eventually you are going to find yourself on the wrong end of a life monument after a less than stellar performance on the cannons. The Royal Janitors that work endlessly cleaning up the chunks and mopping up the fine red mist that was once an adventurer carry bags with them. Well, more to the point, they carry bags with unfortunate cannon riders in them.

You will only need one of these bags, as they provide ample room for all the things you may wish to bring along with you.

The last thing and maybe the most important thing I would recommend is a friend. The "buddy" system provides several advantages, not the least of which is having someone to talk to while you wait for the feeling to return to your legs. Set it up in advance; tie to the same life monument in case things go wrong. This person can also help you limp back to the cleric, or if they are a cleric, they can help ease your discomfort. Even successful landings come at a price!

As for choice of cannons, I recommend the one in Fartown, for several reasons. One: This cannon is not rusty. I cannot say that it performs better, but at least you have a better chance of keeping clean your clothes. Two: The wizened old man that helps you into the cannon in Caernivale, is, I am pretty sure, quite insane. Now I have no evidence of this, but I also suspect he works in concert with Dodgy Pete to, well, help lighten the load you carry in your pack.

If you find regular cannon rides to be unfulfilling, then I would suggest a cannon "race." Yourself and one or more friends, take a cannon ride. The successful riders, then race back to the cannon and take another ride. The one that makes it back and takes the second ride (successfully or not) is declared the winner.

I myself am an "endurance" cannon rider and prefer to see how many successful rides in a row I can take. I believe my record is 18 or 20 cannon rides, but I lost count after some point. Or perhaps I lost consciousness. Either way, I cannot recall.

Ah and now, the worst thing a cannon rider will ever experience in his or her career. A "silent" cannon ride. Whether this is an equipment malfunction or perhaps the gods just tire of seeing you zoom to and fro and thus make the cannons fire you in silence, there simply is no worse feeling than taking a silent cannon ride. I have known several adventurers that gave up the avocation after this unsettling occurence. All I can suggest to you, is that you keep trying! Of course, you risk a visit to the life monument, but practice makes perfect with cannon rides. And the sooner you take your next ride, the sooner you can put a smile back on your face.

[Nya Lyn]

Do you oversee lessons Wyf?.. ive taken down notes, but there's nothing like hands on experience, four out of five times i end up looking at the LM in quite some pain...*forms an orderly queue..*

[Wyf_Broadskull]

Sadly, no. Cannon Riding is much more of a hobby now than the pursuit it used to be. I am currently working on my "Forgotten Places" Tour of Valorn however and will be offering guided tours soon.