Into the Tunnel

[Calliban]

So there I was...crouched in the tunnel...the air about me black as Balthazar's heart. Ahead of waits the High Lady Tarryn, her plea for a rogue still echo'ing in my ears and behind me lie the nothingness of empty battles and training sessions.

*Hefting his mug into the air, Calliban looks about and points with his mug at the people in the Inn while sloshing a good bit onto the table beneath him.*

This was it. This was my chance to prove myself. It was the crossroads we all face. Will we prevail and be the beacons of hope that Valorn so desperately needs? Or do we wither away like a rotted tomato on the vine? The time was upon me to find out the answer and so what happens?

*With a broad grin, Calliban flicks his hair out of his face and drains his mug before continuing.*

Did I rush forward to aid the damsel in distress? Did I slay a mighty beast in the darkness of the tunnel? Did I perform a deed of such heroic proportions that it shall be sung about for generations to come?

*With a rueful smile Calliban shrugs.*

Nay, I did none of those things. What I did was forget my lockpicks and find myself stuck in the tunnel. A truly humbling and embarrassing situation. Here I was, the mighty Calliban, a rogue with no equal in all the lands...stuck in a dark, dirty tunnel because I forgot my lockpicks.

*As laughter fills the Inn, Calliban grins.*

Yes you laugh and rightfully so but I say to you. Did I give up? Never! Did I admit defeat? Unfathomable! No, I did what a hero must do. I took the only option I had left and I used it. That's right! I begged for help and wept in the darkness!

*With the laughter growing louder, Calliban hops from the table and saunters about the Inn, weaving in out from in between the tables and patrons.*

Oh but while you enjoy yourselves at my expense, can you not also empathize with me as well? The High Lady Tarryn alone and waiting for her rogue that never came, the bards of the land denied their tale of grand heroics, the Gods themselves shaking their heads. It was a dark day for the mighty Calliban indeed but nothing keeps me down for long and this was no exception. For as I waited in the darkness my savior arrived...Lowrenzo.

*As the patrons let out a mighty cheer, Calliban smiles brightly.*

That's right, it was Lowrenzo and he came to rescue me. A fact for which I and all the women of Valorn are eternally grateful. Imagine me forever stuck in that infernal tunnel? The horror of it makes me shiver and yet in my darknest marc...help had arrived.

*Plopping down in a vacant chair Calliban puts his boots up on the table in front of him and laces his hands over his belly.*

So there I was, in dark of the tunnel, stuck with no way out but now Lowrenzo has arrived to aid me. Does he bring a lockpick for me? No, he does something much better. He shows me the river passage and the way out. Can you imagine? All that time and there was a way out. I didn't even NEED a lockpick! The mighty Calliban has been taken down a peg by a tunnel with an exit. Oh the glory I earned that day.

*The Inn erupts in raucaus laughter as Calliban just shakes his head.*

And that my friends is the tale of the Mighty Calliban in the Tunnel but before you return to your pints you should always be reminded of the moral of this tale.

*Calliban rises and stretches.*

When things are looking their bleakest...all you need to do is...GET LOW!

*With a huge grin Calliban begins to gyrate and move like a rooster headed for the frying pan as the patrons of the Inn groan and roll their eyes.*