THE PIRATES' CHANTY (or the first ballad of Janus and Em)

[Elspeth]

Well offshore, on murky seas
We, dread pirates, do as we please
- Way hey! And away we go!
Our craft slip into each lonesome bay
We. dread pirates, come to play
- Way hey! And away we go!
Shiver me timbers and three sheets to
We, dread pirates, sail oceans blue

Valorn's coast, an open book
We, dread pirates, know every nook
- Way hey! And away we go!
In dusky dark we slip ashore
We, dread pirates, to raid once more
- Way hey! And away we go!
Grinning through beard, cutlass to hand
Descend, we do, onto the strand

Quick across yon moonlit beach
We, dread pirates, on silent feet
- Way hey! And away we go!
Somehow seen from distant height
Crier's called out in the night
- Way hey! And away we go!
Off the sand! Into the grass!
Whale away on lad and lass!

Over here - what have we got?
We, dread pirates, on the trot
- Way hey! And away we go!
Aha! A tree! Nothing to fear!
Wait - what's it doing wielding spear?
- Way hey! And away we go!
And a bear ambling about
It too, has something knocks us out

Pirates all, we know no bound
Especially when we're aground
- Way hey! And away we go!
But this here fightin's not out style
We, dread pirates, rank and file
- Way hey! And away we go!
Back to the beach! To the ship swim!
'Less you want to end like him!

Now out to sea, 'mid darkened murk
We, dread pirates, covered lurk
- Way hey! And away we go!
Fly to the west, away from shore
We, dread pirates, come 'round no more
- Way hey! And away we go!
For on the strand be stalwart pair
Tree-bark lad and lass of bear.

Aye, on the strand stands two we'll mark
When they're around, we'll not debark
Though we reign o'er waters deep
We, dread pirates, fear now to sleep
- Way hey! And away we go!

It was one of those times when the sheer absurdity of it was not immediately visible to those caught in the events. But during one of the pirate raids that happen with such frequency along the southern shore, two of our defenders proved their worth by stemming the tide and, quite frankly, running the louts back whence they came. If only they'd had fire-arrows, or some such means! The vessels that carried the piratical crew away might have been nevermore.

But that, of course, was not the root of the tale. Or at least, not ALL of it. For as I came upon the two (Janus Leighton and Emeraldina) at last, I discovered that he was clothed head-to-toe in verthedgebark armor ... and she, heavy bearskin armor with yet another bearskin as a cloak.

Immediately, my eye caught something out of the ordinary .. what would the sea-faring folk think, if braced by such a pair? A sword-wielding tree that attacked and parried ... and a smallish bear that always harried? I put myself in the pirates' shoes - and out comes the tune whose lyric lies above.