For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Come here to tell your tales and meet with others. (In-character talk only)
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Bifrost Janger
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For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Fri Sep 09, 2022 4:30 pm

Tired of being an Adventurer?

Why not retrain as a Plains Cat!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
Hiss
Scratch
Bite
Poop in gravelly locations
Attack the legs of unsuspecting Initiates


No prior experience necessary! Earn up to 40 plat a turn by working on Valorn's scenic Plains today!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Fri Sep 09, 2022 4:32 pm

Tired of being an Adventurer? Why not retrain as a Giant Poison Frog!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
- Be moist
- Be very still - BUT THEN MOVE SUDDENLY!
- Carry tadpoles on your back
- Croak noisily at night
- Secrete toxic poisons from your glands


No previous experience needed. Earn up to 40 plat per turn by working in Valorn's scenic swamps today!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Bifrost Janger
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Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Fri Sep 09, 2022 4:35 pm

NOTICE:

Adventurers should feel free to post their own advertisements in this space!
--
For the Betterment of Valorn
An avenue,
To a better you!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

Dark Grimoire NPC
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Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Dark Grimoire NPC » Fri Sep 09, 2022 9:45 pm

An additional Notice is posted:


There will be a nominal fee to ensure the safety of those who take advantage of these opportunities for betterment.
Salaries adjusted accordingly.

Best regards
AC
This account represents all non-God NPCs and is used to communicate in-character. For descriptions/bios of most NPCs, click on the STORY link in the left menubar.

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Sun Sep 11, 2022 4:40 pm

Tired of being an Adventurer? Why not retrain as a Man!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
- Be as swift as a coursing river
- With all the force of a great typhoon
- Have all the strength of a raging fire
- Be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon


No previous experience needed. Earn up to 40 plat per turn by enlisting today!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

Alfred Elpin
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Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Alfred Elpin » Sun Sep 11, 2022 6:16 pm

A reply is posted to the most recent listing.

I'm in.

A. E.
Warrior by the hand of Topaz, mint farmer by birth.

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Bo Bonnie
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Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bo Bonnie » Mon Sep 12, 2022 3:29 pm

A RoKin' employment opportunity!

A full time position of Groundsman/woman/person has become available at the Hall of the Remnants of Kimald.

Duties include:
- Replenishing the castle woodstocks
- raking leaves
- feeding the Giant Frog
- tending to our extremely hostile pumpkin patch
- tending to the halls expansive gardens and outdoor spaces


Position includes bed and board. Pay negotiable.


Another Rokin' Employment opportunity!

The Remnants of Kimald guildhall is in need of a window cleaner.

We have more windows than the Caer and we couldn't possibly manage to clean them all ourselves!

Bed and board included. Pay negotiable!
And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it. - Roald Dahl

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Bifrost Janger
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Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Tue Sep 13, 2022 2:49 pm

One Boy
Boy for sale.
He's going cheap.
Only seven silvers!
That -- or thereabouts.

Small Boy ...
Rather pale...
Through lack of sleep.
Feed him gruel dinners.
Stop him getting stout.

If I should say he wasn't very greedy...
I could not, I'd be telling you a tale.
One boy,
Boy for sale.
Come take a peep.
Have you ever seen as
Nice
A Boy
For sale!!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Turcko
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Location: Portugal

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Turcko » Tue Sep 13, 2022 6:38 pm

Bifrost Janger wrote:
One Boy
Boy for sale.
He's going cheap.
Only seven silvers!
That -- or thereabouts.

Small Boy ...
Rather pale...
Through lack of sleep.
Feed him gruel dinners.
Stop him getting stout.

If I should say he wasn't very greedy...
I could not, I'd be telling you a tale.
One boy,
Boy for sale.
Come take a peep.
Have you ever seen as
Nice
A Boy
For sale!!


*Ivan looks at the posted notice and smiles happily*
Oh, what luck, a boy for sale! I wonder if I can afford him, then I can be a big brother and protect him and all!
*Counts seven silver coins, adds a few more for good measure and goes look for Bif, whistling a merry tune*
Turcko, Falx Monde, Ivan Monde, Argoth

Image

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Sun Sep 18, 2022 5:33 pm

Advance like a Queen!

With personal training from Iron Commander Cody Fireblade the Affable even a pleb like YOU can achieve royally rockin' abs!

Cody Fireblade, affable in all things; except idleness!

Sign up today!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Sun Sep 25, 2022 9:15 pm

Tired of being an Adventurer? Why not retrain as a Lumberjack!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
- Be a Lumberjack
- be okay
- Sleep all night
- Work all day

No previous experience necessary! Earn up to 40 plat per turn by working in Valorn's scenic forests today!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Pallas
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Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Pallas » Sun Sep 25, 2022 9:41 pm

Bifrost Janger wrote:
Tired of being an Adventurer? Why not retrain as a Lumberjack!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
- Be a Lumberjack
- be okay
- Sleep all night
- Work all day

No previous experience necessary! Earn up to 40 plat per turn by working in Valorn's scenic forests today!


Not all of us will have the relevant clothing for this position. Would this be provided?
Image

The joke is on the bloke who never spoke a word at all
But whose dreams lay unrevealed 'til they were rotten ...

Lindisfarne 'The Things I Should Have Said'

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Sun Sep 25, 2022 10:09 pm

Not all of us will have the relevant clothing for this position. Would this be provided?

Suspendies and a bra to be provided!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

Dark Grimoire NPC
In-Character Guru
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2006 5:02 pm

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Dark Grimoire NPC » Sun Sep 25, 2022 11:22 pm

Bifrost Janger wrote:
Tired of being an Adventurer? Why not retrain as a Lumberjack!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
- Be a Lumberjack
- be okay
- Sleep all night
- Work all day

No previous experience necessary! Earn up to 40 plat per turn by working in Valorn's scenic forests today!


The lumberjacks of Milltown vehemently protest the attempt of adventurers to steal their way of life!
You want our suspendies and woolen caps, you will have to take them out of our cold dead hands!
This account represents all non-God NPCs and is used to communicate in-character. For descriptions/bios of most NPCs, click on the STORY link in the left menubar.

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Wed Nov 30, 2022 10:55 pm

Tired of being an Adventurer?! Why not retrain as Rick Astley!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
- Never give up
- Never let down
- Never run around
- Never Desert

No previous experience needed. Earn up to 40 plat per turn by working as Valorn's premium rick-roller!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

Zelele
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Posts: 117
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Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Zelele » Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:48 pm

Bifrost Janger wrote:
Not all of us will have the relevant clothing for this position. Would this be provided?

Suspendies and a bra to be provided!



Is have those. Plaid is lacking.

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Thu Jan 12, 2023 6:50 pm

For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers,

We sadly must announce a temporary suspension to our services due to the cozzie livs. (Cost of Living Crisis)

We suggest a mourny p (Mourning Period) of two cycles.

Hopefully we shall resume usual services after Winty Wee (Winter's Warming).

Thank you for your continued support!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Dabria
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Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Dabria » Thu Jan 12, 2023 7:32 pm

Bifrost Janger wrote:
For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers,

We sadly must announce a temporary suspension to our services due to the cozzie livs. (Cost of Living Crisis)

We suggest a mourny p (Mourning Period) of two cycles.

Hopefully we shall resume usual services after Winty Wee (Winter's Warming).

Thank you for your continued support!


I sincerely hope the next opportunity is for a "Bif to Valornian" translation service ... ;)
Image
"Stabbing someone is no longer considered rude. Rather, it is now an acceptable method in which to end a conversation."
~Richard~

Quasha wrote:I'd pretend shock, but it's Dabria the Inappropriate.

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Bifrost Janger
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Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Mon Mar 13, 2023 9:20 am

New and Exclusive to ABV-Career's:

ABV-C Team Building!

Brought to you from Valorn's no.1 career opportunist and specialising in crabby Enchanter's, ABV-C Team Building could change your collaborative ventures today!

Why wait?! Over an intensive 5 turn course you'll be taught to:

- Engage in mind-numbing group activities.
- Experience the creeping dread of having to think of something interesting to say about yourself.
- Get out of a turn of actual work by doing whatever this crap is instead.
- During lunch break, we'll get a group order from that fancy fake Ethucan place on Kilican.
- If all above fails, I'll lock you in one of those escape rooms until, A) you all sort out your issues and emerge as firm friends. Or, B) One of you goes absolutely barmy, murders their fellows, and emerges as the lone victor.

ABV-C Team Building for Enchanter's -

Let's put the us back in Nexus!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Bifrost Janger
Experienced Adventurer
Posts: 412
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:02 am

Re: For the Betterment of Valorn; Careers

Postby Bifrost Janger » Tue May 30, 2023 7:34 pm

Tired of being an Adventurer? Why not retrain as a Forest Bandit!

Over a two turn course you'll be taught to:
- Be merry
- Be a man (see previous ad)
- Wear tights
- Rob from the rich and give to the poor

No previous experience needed. Earn up to 60 plat per turn by working in Valorn's scenic forests today!
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett


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