WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

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Bifrost Janger
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WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

Postby Bifrost Janger » Sat Jul 16, 2022 10:43 am

Tacked to Dundee's notice board, this missive reads:

WANTED

Mister Bifrost Janger asks for the assistance of his fellows in locating a Centuar of handsome physiognomy.

(Disclaimer! - I have never actually met this Centuar; merely imagined him.)

Please report any findings to
Mister Bifrost Janger
Enchanter. Humanoidolgist. Scamp.
The Vanguard Hall
Laleldan Village


Many thanks,
Bif x

Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Thelm
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Re: WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

Postby Thelm » Mon Jul 18, 2022 12:20 pm

*Thelm reads the notice, nods and heads into the eastern mountains. Several centaur cries and neighs of outrage can be heard as far as Branishor*

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Thelm
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Re: WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

Postby Thelm » Fri Sep 02, 2022 12:25 pm

Hello *the imposingly tall man nods in greeting*
You are the one they call Bif, yes? We may have met, I think. Or I'm confusing you with the other one *shrugs in indifference*
You are looking for... *checks a blood soaked piece of parchment* A centaur with a hand and some gnomy?
It took some marcs but I found it *adjusts a foul smelling sack on his shoulder and grins* It actually had TWO hands. Lucky you, eh?
No sign of any gnomies around the centaurs, though.
Where do you want it?

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Bifrost Janger
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Re: WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

Postby Bifrost Janger » Sat Sep 03, 2022 8:39 am

"Hullo. Yes. Bif Janger," Bif affirms, nodding brusquely to the burly man's query. For a split marc he looks about to offer his hand out for shaking; but upon taking in his measure, apparently thinks better on it and returns it to his pocket.

"The er, Centuar of Handsome physiognomy, yes," Bif repeats for clarity, frowning faintly as he does. Though, the expression is short lived and fast replaced by a buoyant smile. "You have?! Spiffing!" He enthuses brightly "So, er, where is he, then?" He asks, looking expectantly about; Even raising up onto his toes to better peer over the large warrior's imposing shoulder.
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Thelm
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Re: WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

Postby Thelm » Sat Sep 03, 2022 9:44 am

*the warrior looks behind himself, comically following Bif's searching gaze and looks back to the enchanter, clearly confused*
Handsome gnomy? I'm not yet used to your fancy words. Centaur and hand, yes? I said I did not find any gnomies. Here.
*Thelm 'gently' pushes Bif a step back and drops the large sack at his feet, opening it to reveal a rolling centaur head and two hands that fall flat on the floor with a thud*
TWO hands! *he announces proudly*
Why did you want this anyway? The centaurs were not happy with me looking at their faces and hands for searching.

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Bifrost Janger
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Re: WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

Postby Bifrost Janger » Fri Sep 09, 2022 4:28 pm

Poor Bif emits a small squeak of indignation as he is unceremoniously shoved. Though, the sound is nothing at all in comparison to the one that resonates from him upon seeing the contents of Thelm's bag of horrors. Bif gasps, half-choking against his horror. For a trice, his mouth works uselessly; gaping like a fish.

Though, when the Enchanter does eventually find his voice, he finds it loudly.

"What the... What the ruddy heck is that?!" He bursts, clenching his skinny fists and flailing them wildly in the air. "He's dead!! Bloody dead! What do you suppose I am to do with a pair of hands and a severed head?!!"
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. - Terry Pratchett

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Thelm
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Re: WANTED: A Handsome Centaur

Postby Thelm » Sat Sep 10, 2022 10:18 am

*Thelm shrugs, seemingly unfazed by all the gasping, yelling and fist flailing*

You posted a notice. I found it. I dunno what you want a severed head and two hands for. Maybe a home decoration?

*He picks up the two hands and holds them atop the centaur's head, like some creepy antlers*

Like this? Some folks have the strangest taste, but to each their own I guess...

And what IS a gnomy anyway? Those little things that make a popping noise when you thump them?


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