Justice for all

[AnonCollective]

**Gray parchment has been tacked to public notices, inked in black, and stamped with closed fist**
Greetings Humanity,
We are A-Non Collective, we are you.
If you have a grievance or seek a bit of playful payback for some perceived wrong, we are here for you.
All cases taken are covert and anonymous.
We understand that you do not forget, you do not forgive, so let us handle it for you with a mostly harmless prank.

[AnonCollective]

**Affixed below**
To the proprietor of Dundee's Inn- Jeffrey

You are the largest purveyor of drinks in Valorn: serving over 90% of the population, taking 30% of all the plat they earn throughout their lives. Yet you offer out of date, unsanitary, and unsafe bodily relief services. We know you are aware of the problems with your amenities, you have the funds, you have the means-- Still you ignore the needs of your patrons.
You have been warned, if it does not change, you will be accountable.
A-Non Collective.

[AnonCollective]

**Affixed below**
To the keeper of the Welcome Center - Jolan

You are the greatest - if not only - initiator of peoples of Valorn along the adventuring path. And yet you allow all manner of thieving, unbalanced, ill-dressed ruffians pass through your doors. We demand that you at very least institute a "No shoes, no entry" rule, for the purpose of weeding out unbalanced applicants.
You have been warned. If the shoe fits, wear it.

[AnonCollective]

Judgment has been passed, Justice delivered.

To The Nocturnal Hand,
For too long you have shunned basic moral behavior. You've participated in swindling, gambling, drinking, market hogging, market hiking, market crashing, freak shows, and all manner of unconventional vices. Plus, bad manners.
There's egg on your face and soon everyone will know it, if they didn't already.

To The Remnants of Kimald,
You must admit, just occasionally, too much knowledge stinks.
And to a certain wayward member: We know.

Expect us.
A-Non Collective

[AnonCollective]

Too hoom et maa cunsern

Yewr ahr prikly, exept wun silable. numbur too wun. butt we ov vulorn luv yew anee way.
expekt owr vizit

luv, yew no hoo

[AnonCollective]

The revolution will not be civilized. Or, you know, organized.

Who knew?

People of Valorn who stand with us, be sure to stock up on ale and soap. Which you really should do even if you don't stand with us. In whatever it might be we stand for.

Oh, and that guy who ran into the meeting yesterturn? Our apologies. Consider it a reminder that when you start an entirely anonymous revolution, there's no application process.

Oh - and we are watching you. Except when you're bathing. We don't need to see that.
It was my turn to make the poster ~ A Non Collective.

[AnonCollective]

To the supposed A-non Collective People's Army,
Whoa, that escalated quickly!
Good on you, be you, stick it to the man, and other super inspirational things. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Demand a voting based system instead or whatever. We hear that totally works for other unknown, vague countries.

We like how you think, however, now that all that has been said--

You know how we said 'we are you'? Yeah, we meant not you in specific, but another metaphorical 'you'.
We're not going to jail for this specific you, also we know its ineffective to throw ourselves at the fortress walls as a revolutionary statement of 'freedom'. There are important issues for us to address, like taxed clothing options and inn-less rogue tunnels--Dying for nothing is super far down the list. Don't let all that stop you, though!

To prevent future confusion, we strongly suggest your next secret meeting, which we are still not involved in, be about how to find some creativity and get your own name.

We put forth the following:

Non A-Non Affiliated
We the Sheeple
The Sheeple's Army
That One Group That Died Alone
Prison Bait
Jail Birds
Winter Knights, the Resurrection
Nanny Nanny Boo Boo Stick Your Head in Balthy's Loo

Just brainstorming...

Sincerely,

The actual A-Non Collective

[AnonCollective]

To the other, metaphorical people,

Stop following strange rogues down dark alleys, it never ends well! What kind of mother did you have?!

A-Non

[Anonyminions]

The so called 'Collective',

We have stood by long enough. We cannot abide the slander of our Glorious Leader. She who shelters us from the harshness of this dark world, She who forever guides our lives and actions. The indisputable authority delivered us by our gods in our time of need, in fear of whom the dread tide parts.

Those who deny our Queen Dearest the proper respect shall answer for their unforgivable crime.

Long live the Queen!

[AnonCollective]

We, the voice of Valorn, would like to remind our friendly Iron Order to please not embarrass us on the battlefield with strange jargon. You may know what a Two Upsidedown Cats Clapping formation is, but we have yet to receive the HSV on this matter. Or at very least a helpful scribbling. We consider this lack of comprehensive diagrams to be very poor form.

However, we are not without mercy. Here are our suggestions for helpful creative animal metaphor positions.

Dog Bathing - Wait

Woodpecker - Fire cannons

Spy-der - Climb

Two Bos Mating - Dig

Dragon Greeting - Pee on lower advancement foe

Guardian Style - Claim to have something worth stealing

Turtle - Huddle up

Feed the Goat - Initiates to front

Like a Bos - Veterans to front

Explosive Bumblebee - Wander aimlessly in a group, staffing and ringing and poisoning the N'rolav out of everything

No Puppies - Put grumpiest adventurers in front to lower enemy morale as they are told why their life, hopes, and clothing choices are ultimately meaningless, or worse, idiotic

Two Bear Hands Meeting - Attack!

Quack! Quack! - run away, and never look back!

Five Giant Cats and a Sword - Iron Order, form up!

Two Fireflies Singing Badly - found something Bronze shaped!

Mushroom Thorns - Dark Sickness on the rise!

Chartown's Revenge - Scrap the plan and burn everything.

Like Rabbits - Forge emergency reinforcements

With these starting suggestions, we believe you will find yourself well on your way to a healthy, communicating relationship with Valorn!

[AnonCollective]

[AnonCollective]

We have Protector Viviyana and the Scoundrel Dimitri! We have replaced them with clever actors in disguise!
For their safe return we make the following demands--
1) The incarceration of one Kairiel Bosburn for attempted breaking, entering, theft, loitering, and other illegal shenanigans.
2) Rum and fried fish
3) The burning of Balthazar's towels, for public safety
4) Two rabbits in every pot
5) Unlimited lemon tarts
6) A new steppy stool, for high shelf reachage
7) One pet corvid
8 ) A Bear saddle
9) A tower room for that Jobe fellow, since its recently vacated

Be quick! We forget to feed things...

Update: We had them, but we seem to have misplaced the Protector and scoundrel. We're sure they will turn up eventually.

[AnonCollective]

To Whom It May Concern

The Collective hears you. When confusion is sown and communication is little, we reap only uncertainty. Should the Crown be questioned? Maybe.

We consider caution wise in this instance. What defines a hero may be what you see. What defines a traitor, too, is in the eye of the beholder.

This does not solely concern the Crown, however, but the ire of the gods we have known for years. We do not weigh to side with the known or unknown. We are the people. We are many.

Weigh with care.